A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Animal Jokes :: #97 By Anonymous from Unknown A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence. One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes. Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with fuel oil. For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying nothing. Finally the parrot shook himself and advanced across the table. He fixed the magician with a beady eye. "Okay, I give up," he squawked. "What did you do with the ship?" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Proverbs :: #2331 By CVT from El Monte USA. Misc. " It is better to have been a has been, than a never was."     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Signs Jokes :: #3172 By Mighty Mom from USA. A sign posted in a Dentist's office said: "Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Health tips :: #5739 By Anonymous from USA. Food allergy vs. food intolerance Food allergy: An allergic reaction to a food triggered by the immune system. It can cause serious health problems and even death. Note: If you have a food allergy and emergency epinephrine (adrenalin) is recommended by your doctor, keep it with you at all times. Wear a medical alert bracelet or carry information that identifies your food allergies. Food intolerance: An adverse reaction to a food that leads to unpleasant, but not life-threatening, symptoms. It does not involve an immune system reaction. -Mayo Clinic-     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

One Liners Jokes :: #16753 By Anonymous from USA. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asks her husband to do. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Words of knowledge :: #5660 By Korie from USA. Lucky Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. ~Tenzin Gyatso     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Animal Jokes :: #10974 By Anonymous from USA. A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, "Take that penguin to the zoo, now." Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again. The policeman stops the guy and says, I told you yesterday to take the penguin to the Zoo, what on earth are you doing with the penguin in your truck again?" The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and today I'm taking him to the movies." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Fitness tips :: #367 By Jenny Henderson from Omaha USA. Yoga videos In choosing a yoga exercise video the most important thing is to check the instructor´s qualifications. Just like live instructors, each has their good points and bad points. Also, try viewing the video before you buy it, because you can find good and inexpensive videos that are made to suit your needs. Finally, try using the tapes as a supplement to live practice, but if you do not have any local classes be sure to get a beginner´s tape.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE WON

EURO MILLION SPAINSH LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL.
FROM:VICE PRESIDENT
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT.
REFERENCE:67/80/ESP
BATCH:ESP-541-623-782
DATE:27th Of SEPTEMBER 2008
Email:infogarciamtg@gmail.com
Email:infomtggarcia@aim.com

RE: WINNING NOTIFICATION / FINAL NOTICE
Sir/Madam
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Euro Million Spainsh Lottery Winners International E-mail programs held on the 10th Of September 2008. Your E-mail address attached to ticket number 653-908-321-675 with serial main number 345-790-241-671 which consequently won in the 2nd category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1.000.000.00 Euro.(One Million Euro)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 100,000 company and 50,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

This lottery was promoted and sponsored by his royal highness King Rey Juan Carlos and Spanish European Lottery Board in conjunction with all international world organization such as (UNITED NATION,UNICEF, UNESCO,W.H.O E.T.C in order to enhance and promote the use of Internet Explorer Users and Microsoft-wares around the globe.,This promotional program takes place every three year. We hope with part of your winning you will take part in our end of year 50 million Euro International lottery.
*************************************************************
To file for your claim,please contact our fiducial agent:DR.DAVID GARCIA
(GARCIA SECURITY COMPANY SPAIN)
TEL:0034-634-290-815
Email:infogarciamtg@gmail.com OR infomtggarcia@aim.com
**********************************************************

Please Remember to complete the verification form below,As all winning must be claimed not more than one month,After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake.Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Note:Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

Sincerely yours,
MRS,COMFORT JOSE
Lottery Coordinator
=============================================================
This message is CONFIDENTIAL. It may also be privileged or otherwise protected by work product immunity or other legal rules. If you have received it please let us know by reply it from your system; you should not copy it or disclose its contents to anyone. All messages sent to and from David Garcнa Security Company Spain may be monitored to ensure compliance with internal policies and to protect your winning from the Euro Million Spanish Lottery Award Promotion.
The contents of any email addressed to our clients are subject to our usual terms of business; anything which does not relate to the official business of the firm is neither given nor endorsed by it.
VERIFICATION FORM
============================================================
1.FULL NAME:____________________________
2.ADDRESS:_____________________________
3.MARITAL STATUS:______________________
4.OCCUPATION:_________________________
5.AGE:__________________(6)SEX:_________________
7.NATIONALITY:___________(8)COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:____________________
9.TELEPHONE NUMBER:______________(10)FAX NUMBER:___________________
11.BATCH NUMBER :____________(12)REFERENCE NUMBER:_________________
13.ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS IF ANY:_________________________________

Copyright © 1994-2008The Euro Millions Lottery S.l All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline.

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Entertainment Jokes :: #18955 By Antoine from Haliburton ON Canada Confucius say: "Beans in sandy soil causes Dust in the Wind" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Job search, interview & resume :: #890 By Dr. Jerry Bills, CPRW from West Palm Beach, Florida USA. Resume formats (styles) Resumes are generally written in three basic styles (with some written with a blend of each). The most common style is called "Reverse Chronological" and employment information is presented starting with the most recent position backwards. The second most common style is called "Functional" and skill sets are emphasized with employment history understated. This style works well for the person with large gaps in employment or, frankly, with something to hide. Finally, there are times when a pure "Chronological" style, with employment history listed in order from the first position to the most current position, can be effective - particularly in the career fields of medicine and teaching.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Entertainment Jokes :: #17018 By Anonymous from USA. A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me a hundred baby chickens." The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, "Give me two hundred baby chickens." The co-op man complies. Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me five-hundred baby chickens." "Wow! The co-op man replies "You must really be doing well!" "Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or too far apart!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Health tips :: #5502 By Anonymous from USA. Office ergonomics: Protect your back A factory or construction site is not the only type of workplace where you can become injured. You can also experience an injury in an office environment. In fact, sprains and strains are the leading types of on- the- job injuries, no matter the type of workplace. Your back is likely most at risk, regardless of your work setting. To avoid injuring your back at the office, try these tips. If you sit for a long period of time, make sure your chair supports your back. If the chair does not support your lower back's curve, place a rolled towel or small pillow behind your lower back. Also, remove any bulky objects from your back pockets. They can disrupt the balance in your lower back. On average, take a 30 second timeout to stretch or move for every 15 minutes you spend sitting in the same place Pay attention to office space ergonomics. If you work at a computer, make sure that your monitor and chair are positioned properly. Use good form when lifting, ever if the object is relatively light. Keep the object close to your body and let your legs do the work. If the load is too heavy to lift on your own, get some help. Remove anything from your workspace that might cause you or someone else to trip and fall. Health Smarts – Mayo Clinic     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #5093 By Anonymous from USA. A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries,but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply, "The word is celebrate." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended         Pretty Good Joke Book (4th edition) You can't forego this one - it comes with over 300 new jokes, from old standbys to comments on religion, drinking, and regional jokes. A real winner for any who like to tell jokes and laugh.     Music tips :: #4547 By Anonymous from USA. Clear away scratches on CDs. For smudges and scratches on discs, non-gel toothpaste will do the trick. Just rube a little on, then remove it with a damp cloth. It may leave a few tiny scratches on the surface, but they won't affect the sound.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

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If you wish to read this message better and bigger from your browser click here Ajokeaday.com # 6156 Thanks to: Stephanie Masten Silver City New Mexico USA. Genre: One Liners Jokes Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses "windows". Send this joke to other friends.

The Tip Of The Day from WisdomTips.com # 2483 Category: Interacting with people Personality Always be a first-rate version of your self instead of a second-rate version of somebody else - JUDY GARLAND - Thanks to: R.RAMACHANDRA RAO HYDERABAD India To see more Wisdom Tips. To subscribe you or your friends to receive WisdomTips

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A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Jokes Rules | Search for your favorite joke | FAQ | Submit a Joke | Privacy Policy

Daily Joke free via email ! | Today's jokes | Categories | Español

Please add our e-mail address from which we sent our daily emails to you to your contact list, address book (or "buddy", "safe","approved" or "trusted sender" lists) to make sure you continue to receive your our daily emails in your inbox (and that it is not sent to bulk or junk folders). The free and easy way to see the trustworthiness of every website you visit! Download the patent-pending TrustGauge; a unique freeware tool to help you decide how much you should trust any site you are visiting! TrustGauge appears in your browser and displays a sites trust score using a scale from 1-10. This killer application saves you time by providing website information at a glance. For more details, visit TrustGauge.com.

Free WisdomTips We deliver free WisdomTips™ via Email that can stimulate your personal growth on a daily basis Always finds most relevant sites faster! 7MetaSearch, proven by surveys to consistently find the most relevant sites faster, features one-click access to visitors ranking, phone number and postal and email addresses for every site. Add The Joke of the Day to My Yahoo!

If you wish to read this message better and bigger from your browser click here Ajokeaday.com # 10679 Thanks to: Amanda Dallas TX USA. Genre: Knock-Knock Jokes Knock-Knock Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub I'm drowning! Send this joke to other friends.

The Tip Of The Day from WisdomTips.com # 5358 Category: One Liners tips Friends A friend is somebody who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Thanks to: Anonymous USA. To see more Wisdom Tips. To subscribe you or your friends to receive WisdomTips

Earn $ MONEY $ With Your Website! To see more jokes To subscribe your friends to receive AJokeADay If you wish to unsubscribe from AJokeADay.com list: We will never make your personal information available to others. See our Privacy Policy Another service of Emergency24, Inc. AjokeAday.com© 1995-2008