Regards

Hello,

 

I got your contact during my search for a reliable, honest and a trust worth person to entrust this huge transfer project with.

 

My name is Mr.Ibrahim Haatso, Branch manager of a financial institution here in Ghana. I am a Ghanaian married with four kids. I am writing to solicit your assistance in the transfer of $6,720,000.00 Million United States dollars

 

This fund is the excess of what my branch in which am the manager made as profit during the 2007 financial year. I have already submitted annual report for that year to my head office here in Accra as I have watched with keen interest as they will never know of this excess. I have since, placed this amount of $6,720,000.00 Million United States dollars only to an Escrow Coded account without a beneficiary (anonymous) to avoid trace.

 

As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive this money into your bank account on my behalf. I intend to part 30% of this fund to you while 70% shall be for me. I do need to stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. It's going to be a bank-to-bank transfer.

 

All I need from you is to stand as the original depositor of this fund so that the fund can be transferred to your account. If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response urgently with your contact phone number, if you think we can work together, so that we move over to the details.

 

With Regards,

Mr.Ibrahim Haatso.

I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE

Dear Friend

I am Mary Yengeni. from south African a Parliamentarian Wife i contacted you to be my project partner and stand as my Husband foriegn partner for transfer of US$15 million into your account for investment

You maybe familer with the news about my husband legal position with the government of my country and that is why you must be confident to take a firm position to handle this business for mutual benefit as my husband have no objection concerning our partnership with you . Please endeavor to read the website :

1 ) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/2756861.stm

2) http://archives.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/europe/10/03/safrica.arms/index.html

Please contact me if you are willing to help but also tell me if you can handle this business without third party involvemenrt as it must be handle with truth. All we need to do next is have a confirmation of your acceptable renumeration and business agreement that both party can sign together.
Thank you for your understanding

I will be waiting to here from you my good friend
Thanks

Mrs.Mary Yengeni

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Puns :: #5172 By Mark007 from FL USA. Stupid.....But funny... Subject: Funnies Things to make you stop and think 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in thedriveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Money saving tips :: #1198 By Mario Chiara from Danbury USA. College Aid: Before spending the parent's assets, spend the student's assets first When considering a student for financial aid, the federal formula expects the student to contribute 50% of the student's income (minus the income protection allowance), and 35% of the student's assets during his/her base year. Given this, the family should spend down the student's money first. For example, instead of buying the student a car or a computer while he/she is in college, have the student buy it out of their own funds during the base year before you apply for FAFSA. This may increase the student's eligibility for aid and reduce the family's out-of-pocket costs.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

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Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #123 By Anonymous from Unknown A head-on collision occurred between a man and a woman. Both emerged from the scene intact while their cars were totally demolished. The woman said, "This is quite a predicament. We should drink a toast to celebrate this miracle." The man replied, "What a great idea; I just happen to have a bottle with me." With this he handed it to the man. The man downed half the bottle and handed it back. The woman would not take it back and said, "I think I will wait until after the police arrive to celebrate." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Words of knowledge :: #3356 By Walt Haskins from Lahaina, Hawaii USA. POSITIVE BUT UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES A sawmill produces sawdust, but that is not its purpose; in much the same way, a wisely lived life produces happiness, although that also is not its purpose.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

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Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #985 By Samantha from Unknown A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?" "Twenty-six," he said. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Computing :: #817 By Mike Donovan from Richmond USA. Keyboard ShortCuts Take the time to learn keyboard shortcuts. These handy little nuggets will save valuable time. Commonly used are Ctrl/S for "Save", Ctrl/C for "Copy", Ctrl/V for "Paste" and Ctrl/F for "Find" (great for searching long web pages). Alt/Tab is another extremely useful shortcut for toggling through open programs. Also, make use of the "Page Up" and "Page Down" keys as well as the arrow keys in long web pages.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

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Baby Jokes :: #4741 By Red from Mississauga Ontario Canada Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"! Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Fitness tips :: #152 By Mike Simmons from Santa Monica USA. Stretching Stretching is the most overlooked, but the most important factor of exercising. Stretching helps prevent muscle pulls and tears. The following are tips to keep in mind for stretching right. Run or walk on a treadmill, or ride a stationary bike to warm up your muscles before stretching. Then, stretch all the basic muscle groups, including arms, buttocks, abs, neck, shoulders, legs, hips, and back. Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds with a soft amount of tension. Do not bounce in a stretch! When stretching your muscle groups, you should not feel any pain. After you have finished your cardiovascular or strength-building exercise, be sure to stretch out again as part of your cool-down.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

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Kid Jokes :: #73 By Emilio Candia from Santiago R. M. Chile Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from the priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize that God is in everyone, asks, "Where is God?" The boy looks around the room and back at the priest and says nothing. Again, the priest points at the boy and in a louder voice asks, "Where is God?" The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy's face and asks again, "Where is God?" The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out the door. The boy runs right home, grabs his older brother and says to him, "We are in BIG trouble!" His brother replies, "We haven't done anything!" The younger brother replies, "God's missing, and they think we did it!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Famous quote :: #663 By Talia Stiklestad from Milan USA. Character Development Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Hellen Keller     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

In God I trust

Dear,

In line with the donation directive of One trillion USD from unclaimed assests by the G20 world leaders, as eveident in their meeting on global recession, which was held in London. I work at the foreign payout department in Hong Kong Brokers Association. I got your details via Equifax Plc database and the Ancestry records of Europe and USA. I am getting in touch with you regarding the estate of a deceased client Mr Leonard from Mexico who died of Swine flu. I contacted you because he has a last name as you and he had a portfolio of which I am the account Broker in charge in of his file.

I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the
Integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contacted you independently
and no one is informed of this communication. In 2000, the subject matter came
to our bank to engage in business discussions with our private banking division. He informed us
that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35 million United States dollars, which he wished to have
us invest on his behalf. Based on my advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and
made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood
at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars. In mid 2002, he instructed that the principal
sum (8.35M) be liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in
Hong Kong. We got in touch with a specialist bank in Hong Kong the Dah Sing Bank (DSB) who agreed to receive this money for a fee and make cash available to Leonard. However Dah Sing Bank got in touch with us last year that this money has not been claimed.

On further enquiries we found out that he has no next of kin and the reason I am writing you is because you are namesakes. What I propose is that since I have exclusive access to his file, you will be made the beneficiary of these funds. My bank will contact you informing you that money has been willed to you. On verification, which will be the details I make available to my bank, my bank will instruct UK payout firm to make payments to you. You do not have to have known him. I know this might be a bit heavy for you but please trust me on this. For all your troubles I propose that we split the money in half.

In the banking circle this happens every time. The other option is that the money will revert back to the state. Nobody is getting hurt; this is a lifetime opportunity for us. I hold the KEY to these funds, and as a Chinese National we see so much cash and funds being re-assigned daily.

Please, again, note I am a family man; I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches and good life never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should act swiftly on this. Please pardon my writing mistakes and get back to me via email and i will give you my telephone and fax number so we communicate better and discretely.

I await your response.
Chei Cheng

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Cannibal Jokes :: #2949 By belinitatatata from Malaysia Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     One Liners tips :: #2402 By Fran from Manitoulin Island Canada Friends Every good friend once was an egg only some were slightly cracked.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

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Miscellaneous Jokes :: #1040 By ayman from Zarqa Jordan Unknown Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business called Plexus Communications. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him. The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Merv got very angry and threw him out. The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, you have no ears." Merv again was upset and tossed her out. The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Merv was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered: "Yes. You wear contact lenses." Merv was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?" The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Health tips :: #1890 By joey from USA. Did You Know? The juice from the plant Hens and Chicks, can be used to eliminate blemishes and warts from your face. Also it can be used for minor burns, wasp and nettle stings, cuts and insect bites.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

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Educational Jokes :: #364 By StarShines from Unknown Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready. The morning of the test, Joe entered the auditorium and took a seat in the front row. On the table in the front was a row of ten stuffed birds. Each bird had a sack covering its body, and only the legs were showing. When class started, the professor announced that the students were to identify each bird by looking at its legs and give its common name, species, habitat, mating habits, etc. Joe looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him. He started to get angry. He had stayed up all night studying for this test and now he had to identify birds by their LEGS? The more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got. Finally he reached his boiling point. He stood up, marched up to the professor's desk, crumpled up his exam paper and threw it on the desk. "What a ridiculous test!" he told the prof. "How could anyone tell the difference between these birds by looking at their legs? This exam is the biggest rip-off I've ever seen!" With that, Joe turned and stormed toward the exit. The professor was a bit shocked, and it took him a moment to regain his composure. Then, just as Joe was about to walk out the door, the prof shouted out, "Wait a minute, young man, what's your name?" Joe turned around, pulled up his pant legs and hollered, "You tell me, prof! You tell me!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Health tips :: #1946 By Michael Talen from New Orleans USA. Hiccup Cure Place a silver butter knife in an 8 ounce glass of water. Drink all 8 ounces of the water with the handle of the knife resting against your cheek. This may sound a bit crazy but it NEVER fails!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com