A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Little Johnny Jokes :: #19559 By Roy from United Kingdom Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?' Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Relationships :: #742 By Sherian Figard from Chester USA. Don't Let People Get You down No matter where you go, there will always be two groups of people: One who likes you and one who does not. Be encouraged by the ones who do and pray for the ones who don't.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE WON (BENEFICIARY)

EURO MILLION SPAINSH LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL.
FROM: VICE PRESIDENT
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT.
REFERENCE:67/80/ESP
BATCH:ESP-541-623-782
DATE:1st Of JAN 2009
Email:infogarciasmtg@gmail.com
Email:infogarciasmtg@aim.com

RE: WINNING NOTIFICATION / FINAL NOTICE
Sir/Madam
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Euro Million Spanish Lottery Winners International E-mail programs held on the 30th Of December 2008. Your E-mail address attached to ticket number 653-908-321-675 with serial main number 345-790-241-671 which consequently won in the 2nd category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1.000.000.00 Euro.(One Million Euro)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 100,000 company and 50,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

This lottery was promoted and sponsored by Spanish European Lottery Board in conjunction with all international world organization such as (UNITED NATION, UNICEF, NESCO, W.H.O E.T.C in order to enhance and promote the use of Internet Explorer Users and Microsoft-wares around the globe. This promotional program takes place every three year. *************************************************************
To file for your claim, please contact our fiducially Agent:Dr.Williams Garcia
(GARCIA SECURITY COMPANY SPAIN)
TEL:0034-634-153-632
Email:infogarciasmtg@gmail.com OR infogarciasmtg@aim.com
**********************************************************

Please Remember to complete the verification form below, As all winning must be claimed as soon you have been notified, Due to the deadline given by the lottery board, As all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence.
Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

Sincerely yours,
Mrs, Comfort Jose
Lottery Coordinator
=============================================================
this message is CONFIDENTIAL. It may also be privileged or otherwise protected by work product immunity or other legal rules. If you have received it please let us know by reply it from your system; you should not copy it or disclose its contents to anyone. All messages sent to and from Garcia Security Company SL may be monitored to ensure compliance with internal policies and to protect your winning from the Euro Million Spanish Lottery Award Promotion.
The contents of any email addressed to our clients are subject to our usual terms of business; anything which does not relate to the official business of the firm is neither given nor endorsed by it.
VERIFICATION FORM
============================================================
1.FULL NAME:…………….2.ADDRESS:…………………………
3.MARITAL TATUS:…………4.OCCUPATION:………………………….
5.AGE:…………6)SEX:…………
7.NATIONALITY:…………8.COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:……….
9.TELEPHONE NUMBER:……….
MOBILE NUMBER……………10.FAX NUMBER:…………………
11.BATCH NUMBER :…………12.REFERENCE NUMBER:………..
13. ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS IF ANY:…………..
Copyright © 1994-2008The Euro Millions Lottery S.L All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline.

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Microsoft Jokes :: #14478 By Andrew Bush from Weymouth United Kingdom Explanation of Microsoft computer messages It says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving." It says: "Press A Key" (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.) It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem." It says: "Installing program to C:\...." It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them." It says: "Please insert disk 11" It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks." It says: "Not enough memory" It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K." It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...." It means: "... However, if you put the CD in correct side up..." It says: "Please Wait...." It means: "... Indefinitely." It says: "Directory does not exist...." It means: ".... any more. Whoops." It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close." It means: ".... Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Home Life :: #5806 By Anonymous from USA. Ants in the house? Squeeze a little lemon juice in the cracks where ants enter the house. The bitterness keeps them from coming back     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Antartian Jokes :: #935 By Fred Durst from Singer C.A USA. An Antartian is standing at a vending machine putting money in the slot and collecting can after can after can of Coke. A bloke behind her is getting more and more impatient. 'For Christ's sake, hurry up!' he says. And she replies, 'Can't you see I'm winning?' Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Health tips :: #5771 By Anonymous from USA. Coffee and High Cholesterol If you tend to have high cholesterol levels and have a serious Grande-cappuccino habit, you may want to switch brews. The oil in coffee beans, both regular and decaf contains cafestol, a potent cholesterol booster. Even though paper filters absorb almost all of the compound, but oil drops can pass through metal filters, so espresso, French press coffee, and brews made with a permanent gold filter all contain cafestol (an average of 2 to 2.6 milligrams per 5 ounces of coffee or 1 to 2 ounces of espresso). In studies, consuming 10 milligrams of cafestol daily for four weeks raised people's cholesterol by a scary 8 to 10 percent. Bottom line: You don't have to worry if all you drink is a cup or two of coffee for breakfast (even if your "cup" is a large mug). But if you routinely consume several big containers of non-paper-filtered java, including French press style, cappuccinos, lattes, or several cups of espresso, and you have been told to watch your cholesterol, switch to a paper drip. - Good Housekeeping -     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE WON

EURO MILLION SPAINSH LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL.
FROM:VICE PRESIDENT
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT.
REFERENCE:67/80/ESP
BATCH:ESP-541-623-782
DATE:27th Of December 2008
Email:infogarciamtg@gmail.com
Email:infomtggarcias@aim.com

RE: WINNING NOTIFICATION / FINAL NOTICE
Sir/Madam
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Euro Million Spainsh Lottery Winners International E-mail programs held on the 24th Of December 2008. Your E-mail address attached to ticket number 653-908-321-675 with serial main number 345-790-241-671 which consequently won in the 2nd category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1.000.000.00 Euro.(One Million Euro)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 100,000 company and 50,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

This lottery was promoted and sponsored by his royal highness King Rey Juan Carlos and Spanish European Lottery Board in conjunction with all international world organization such as (UNITED NATION,UNICEF, UNESCO,W.H.O E.T.C in order to enhance and promote the use of Internet Explorer Users and Microsoft-wares around the globe.,This promotional program takes place every three year. We hope with part of your winning you will take part in our end of year 50 million Euro International lottery.
*************************************************************
To file for your claim,please contact our fiducial agent:DR.DAVID GARCIA
(DAVID GARCIA SECURITY COMPANY SPAIN)
TEL:0034-634-290-815
Email:infogarciamtg@gmail.com OR infomtggarcias@aim.com
**********************************************************

Please Remember to complete the verification form below,As all winning must be claimed not more than one month,After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake.Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Note:Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

Sincerely yours,
MRS,COMFORT JOSE
Lottery Coordinator
=============================================================
This message is CONFIDENTIAL. It may also be privileged or otherwise protected by work product immunity or other legal rules. If you have received it please let us know by reply it from your system; you should not copy it or disclose its contents to anyone. All messages sent to and from David Garcнa Security Company Spain may be monitored to ensure compliance with internal policies and to protect your winning from the Euro Million Spanish Lottery Award Promotion.
The contents of any email addressed to our clients are subject to our usual terms of business; anything which does not relate to the official business of the firm is neither given nor endorsed by it.
VERIFICATION FORM
============================================================
1.FULL NAME:____________________________
2.ADDRESS:_____________________________
3.MARITAL STATUS:______________________
4.OCCUPATION:_________________________
5.AGE:__________________(6)SEX:_________________
7.NATIONALITY:___________(8)COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:____________________
9.TELEPHONE NUMBER:______________(10)FAX NUMBER:___________________
11.BATCH NUMBER :____________(12)REFERENCE NUMBER:_________________
13.ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS IF ANY:_________________________________

Copyright © 1994-2008The Euro Millions Lottery S.l All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline.

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Judges Jokes :: #17660 By amaikwu adaobi juliet from lagos lagos Nigeria A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; "Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd … Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Proverbs :: #1282 By Michael Quedo. from Port Harcourt Nigeria Youth & wisdom The young often reason themselves to be wise & the elderly to be foolish. But the truth be told, they are not; considering that what they cannot see when they climb up a tree, the elderly, sited on the ground, can. - Old Yoruba proverb-     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Question / Answer Jokes :: #15729 By paradise from washington DC USA. Teacher: "why are you always late for school?" Student: " because you always ring the bell before I get here! Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Self improvement :: #5496 By WALT HASKINS from Lahaina, Hawaii USA. WISDOM AND HUMILITY Foolishness is revealed when we are proud that we know so much; wisdom is revealed when we are humbled because recognize that we know so little.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #17126 By Baysider from USA. A turtle was walking through the park when two snails attacked, punched, kicked, and stole his wallet. The police arrived and asked, "What happen to you, were you attacked, were you robbed?" The turtle on his back, bruised, with one eye shut, said "I don't know officer, it happen so Fast" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Words of knowledge :: #610 By Anyiman Ogu from Festac Town Lagos Nigeria LIFE AS IT IS LIFE IS LIKE A FEAST... SOME ARE THERE TO SERVE, WHILE OTHERS ARE THERE TO BE SERVED.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #18390 By Taylor Marie Livingston from Victorville CA USA. A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him. "You, sir, are drunk!" "And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended       What a great fun!   The Greatest Joke Book Ever Over 350 pages of jokes, stories, and other tomfoolery on every subject from cars to kids, from sports to business, from politics to the Pearly Gates.     Interacting with people :: #2589 By Elizabeth Swafford from El Monte, Ca. USA. Attitude A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright -     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com

A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Holiday Jokes :: #13636 By galina from irvine california USA. Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas rather than through the door? A. Because it soot's him! Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended       What a great fun!   The Greatest Joke Book Ever Over 350 pages of jokes, stories, and other tomfoolery on every subject from cars to kids, from sports to business, from politics to the Pearly Gates.     Improve your vocabulary :: #3222 By Walt Haskins from Lahaina, Hawaii USA. KEEP THOSE HANDS CLEAN Many prefer to dirty their words when confronting a problem instead of dirtying their hands.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com