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Kid Jokes :: #594 By Mark Oberholz from Chicago USA. A policeman brought four boys before a judge.  "They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said. "Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency.  Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong." "My name is George," said the first boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen." "My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen." "My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen." "My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Meditation tips :: #8 By Dante Monteverde from Chicago USA. Self hypnosis promises the most as a meditation tool! Meditation is considered as one of the best way to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure and increase longevity, while there are several ways to use meditation as a relaxation method, self-hypnosis gives you the additional benefit of at least a temporary behavior modification tool, contrary to what you might imagine self-hypnosis is a very simple procedure that you can learn very quickly an only requires a few days of practice to master, this is what you do in a few easy steps: Select a comfortable position like seating, lying down, etc, away from all distractions for at least 10 minutes. Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing your entire body from one end to the other. Start at your feet, feel your toes and feet relaxing, keep repeating rhythmically to yourself the word Relax – Relax as a mantra as you feel a warm tingling sensation in each muscle in your body, whatever happens just relax, anything you do is a plus, we are not looking for perfection, each time you do this it gets better and easier. Feel your feet totally relaxed keep your thoughts in relaxing the part of the body you're working on experience the calming down effect of letting down of all tension. Travel up to your legs concentrating in your principal muscles, your ankles, your calves, your knees, your thigh, hamstrings, torso, abdominals, your chest, back, hands, arms, head and face. Feel the pleasure as each part of your body is reed of tension undergo the transformation from tightness to looseness. When you reach your chest pay particular attention toward your breading, make sure to do a deep breeding, inhaling and exhaling to a totally relaxing pace let go of all tensions feel the tightness disappearing from your back and shoulders, come into contact with the feeling of relaxation in each part of your body as your travel through it, include your face muscles, your neck, follow a sequence to include the entire body. After covering all your main body parts independently go around your body a second time now at a faster pace while concentrating in larger portions of your body feeling your entire feet and legs completely relaxed feel the gentle warmth traveling your entire body, keep your though in this sensation, you are still repeating to yourself to relax, as you approach your chess area go through a breading cycle. Once you accomplish a state o deep relaxation where your thoughts are away from your usual routine an into your body you may select to give yourself a suggestion at this point you are in a very susceptible state, you may repeat to yourself: I will come out of my self-hypnotic state full of energy ready to do my project X with enthusiasm, or you may say to yourself: whenever I experience anger I will feel love and trust for myself or others and I will react with compassion. I will have a strong desire to forgive myself and others. Repeat these or other suggestions several times during your hypnotic condition do not attempt to make multiple suggestions in the same session. Try it now, do it today, you will see instant results; just don't expect miracles only improvements. Develop a routine to meditate once to twice a day, remember the more you do it the easier it becomes, in a few weeks you will be able to relax under the worst types of conditions and very quickly. Meditation as part of a strategy to take care of your emotional health and well-being can add decades to your life and will greatly improve your ability to relax and concentrate, additionally, self-hypnosis in particular will take advantage of the power of suggestion in practically any area of your life where you can use a little help.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com