A Joke A Day - Email Jokes

Puns :: #5172 By Mark007 from FL USA. Stupid.....But funny... Subject: Funnies Things to make you stop and think 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in thedriveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Milton Berle's Private Joke File The most complete storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world. One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes, one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags.     Money saving tips :: #1198 By Mario Chiara from Danbury USA. College Aid: Before spending the parent's assets, spend the student's assets first When considering a student for financial aid, the federal formula expects the student to contribute 50% of the student's income (minus the income protection allowance), and 35% of the student's assets during his/her base year. Given this, the family should spend down the student's money first. For example, instead of buying the student a car or a computer while he/she is in college, have the student buy it out of their own funds during the base year before you apply for FAFSA. This may increase the student's eligibility for aid and reduce the family's out-of-pocket costs.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to jokes@2busy2look.com