Joke Archive: A Joke A Day

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Ajokeaday.com # 5538
Thanks to: Jeff Sydney Australia

Genre: Animal Jokes

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds.... I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived....blah blah blah..."
In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, "Oh yeah...when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds.... I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived.... blah blah blah..."
Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, "I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds."
The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the fist racehorse finally said, "Isn't that amazing (hic)...a talking greyhound!"

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The Tip Of The Day from WisdomTips.com # 625

Category: Health tips

Sleep Apnea

Chronic Sleep Apnea is a condition in which one actually quits breathing for short episodes during sleep. The condition is easily diagnosed by doctors trained in sleep disorders, by simply going to a sleep clinic. Some signs and symptoms include; loud snoring with moments of complete silence; a "snorting" sound with abrupt wakening; feeling exhausted even after you have slept for several hours; lack of concentration; and even falling asleep during the day while driving or on the job. This condition can be life threatening and is treatable. For more information check with your family doctor and you may check out the National Sleep Foundation WebPages at: http://www.sleepfoundation.org/

Thanks to: Mike Ingo, UAW / EAP Dublin USA.

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